thedailywhat: This Is Funny, You Should Watch It of the Day: Julie Klausner is The Cat Whisperer. She whispers shit to cats. Co-starring James “Dr. Thaddeus Venture” Urbaniak. [julieklausner.] I whisper shit to cats.
Old Spice Guy + FEMINIST HULK + Judith Butler
Old Spice Guy: "Hello, FEMINIST HULK. I observe that you are using lady-scented body wash."
Feminist Hulk: "HULK FIND LAVENDER FRAGRANCE RELAXING AFTER DAY OF SMASH."
Old Spice Guy: "Wouldn't you like to smell like me?"
Feminist Hulk: "HULK WOULD RATHER SMASH GENDER BINARY OF PERFORMATIVE SHOWERING."
Old Spice Guy: "Your tiny purple shorts hanging on the towel rack now hold tickets to the Sleater-Kinney reunion concert. And diamonds."
Feminist Hulk: "HULK ENJOY CORIN TUCKER'S REJECTION OF TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES AND CONSUMERISM. BUT DIAMONDS MAKE HULK WANT TO SMASH HEGEMONY OF POST-COLONIAL OPPRESSION. ALSO, STILL PREFER TO SMELL LIKE FIELD OF FLOWERS."
Old Spice Guy: "You puzzle me, Feminist Hulk. Your wish to use lady-scented body wash, even whilst smelling the intoxicating scent of my Old Spice, is unparalleled in my experience. "
Judith Butler: "Feminist Hulk makes a good critique, Old Spice Man. Your discourse is being circumscribed by a learned sex/gender distinction. Please pass me the loofah."
Old Spice Guy: "Hello, Judith Butler. Allow me to scrub your back. So you and Feminist Hulk are saying that my devotion to Old Spice body wash might be part of a larger regulative discourse to maintain an essential ontological gender?"
Judith Butler: "That's correct, Old Spice Man."
Feminist Hulk: "HULK SMASH EPISTEMOLOGICAL FRAMEWORKS, WHILE SMELLING LIKE SPRING GARDEN."
Old Spice Guy: "I understand. Allow me to bake you a cake, Feminist Hulk and Judith Butler, while we discuss intersectionality and the beauty of giant green muscles."
Judith Butler: "Congratulations on making a break with compulsory heterosexuality, Old Spice Man."
Femist Hulk: "HULK IS VERY HAPPY TO SHARE TEARS OF JOY AND ORGANIC WHOLE WHEAT PASTRY FLOUR WITH OLD SPICE MAN AND JUDITH BUTLER."
Old Spice Guy: "I'm on a unicorn."
(This totally just made my day.)